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Front Page News Archive

Meanwhile, in the real world...
Saturday, February 4, 2006 - 5:45 PM
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Today's round-up of current events.

Apple is being sued for not providing adequate warning about the potential for hearing loss when listening to its iPod product at high volumes, despite the inclusion of such a warning in the device's user manual. Also alleged: that Apple "let us have dessert which spoiled our dinner", and "didn't make us go to bed on time last night, and today we're tired."

Muslim protesters in Damascus set two European embassies ablaze in protest of a widely-reported Danish cartoon, which depicts Mohammed wearing a bomb for a turban. (Depictions of the prophet Mohammed of any kind are taboo under Islamic tradition.) Western news commentators replied, "...buh?" Syrian Muslims were heard shouting "God is Greatest", and referring to danishes as "Freedom pastries".

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