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A few typo catches
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

'Also, in the above mentioned part about trolls and orcs and humans and such...' --> that bit sure fooled me to believe such Very Happy. Not that it's important now... Wink I'm waiting for the next chapter Wink.
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Exodus



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 2262
Location: P-Town represent!

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was actually referancing to that part of the story that you had above mentioned, not the above mentioned correction Razz. Good grammar lesson though.
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry about the uncalled for grammar lesson Smile.

I found something in XIV:
"Ajax climbed sympathetically onto my lap, and I scritched his ears gratefully" --> I'm not quite sure though if 'scritched' is a neologism (scratch and itch combined? Smile) I'm not aware of, or just a typological error Smile.

Chapter XV:
"He s

miled humorlessly, then pulled on his cigarette." --> Another unfortunate line break Smile.
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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2111

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Call it a neologism if you want, but scritched has been a word in my family for as long as I've had a cat, which is since I was in the womb. =)

I should be catching more of those line-breaks than I am... what happens is when I post a chapter, I copy it from my master The Murloc is Lonely .doc file (where all the secrets are) over into a text file, and then stick a <p> tag in front of each line. Unfortunately, even with word wrapping turned off, the windows text editor can only handle lines of a certain length, so really long paragraphs wrap around and start a new line, where I mindlessly stick a <p> tag. Thanks for the catch.
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Sabredurid330



Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 503

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I think the phrase fits. While it might not be an actual word in the English language, everyone will understand him and it provides a sort of... flavor to the story that I enjoy.
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Exodus



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 2262
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 1:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the first of the 3 chapters you recently posted:

Quote:
I closed my eyes and shook the feeling out of my mind, as I had long since grown accustomed to doing with such feelings.


This is less of an error and more of something that I personally goes against Horse's character. I mean, does he ever really grow accustomed to anything in the story, let alone dieing and let alone this early? You can have him push the feeling down but I'd have to argue against you having him being accustomed to it. He hates it.
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Albatros
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmm... it's the pushing aside of feelings that he's grown accustomed to - but it's certainly unclear and the sentence is awkward as hell. I'ma go have a good look at it now.
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Keltor



Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 212

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Although they are not aggressive yet, we must avoid contact with beasts of all costs, and if you cut your skin, stay away from plants as well.

caught this in the most recent rewrite, soon after they enter the real plaguelands, pretty sure it should be at, or costs should be changed to kinds. one of the two
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Albatros
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

they need to avoid expensive beasts, and cheap ones too...
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Here, on this side of the inky water, felt like it hadn’t seen moonlight in centuries." --> it felt? Something's missing in that sentence, I feel. Here just isn't a proper subject of a sentence ^^. [[yeah my mom didn't like that construction either...]]

"I wondered if it the price to pay for pride" --> 'verb overboard!' [[fixed, thanks]]

' “Is it—” I sarted.' --> started Wink [[I sartred!]]

"I squinted, then shuttered with revulsion." --> shuddered? [[in my mind, those are synonyms...]]

"we can eat and drink nothing that has not been sealed in our backpadks since yesterday" --> backpacks Wink Damn typos Smile. [[and I was doing so well in fourteen and fifteen...]]
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Exodus



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, another thing I caught was at one point (sorry I'm being a bit less than helpful here) they were getting ready to move on and they packed their packs, something like, 'we packed out packs...' To me this seems kinda redundant and 'packs' should probably be changed to something like 'bags.'
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Ulkarr



Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 598
Location: Brisbane

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

some I just caught.

"that the Doomhammers and the Bloodhooves had sworn and ancient alliance" chapterVIII 2nd para.

"I tilted my head at as I followed."
Same chapter about 1/3 of the way down the page.
Is this a msitake or am I not picking up something? Confused

"and they felt as crisp as they day they’d been carved"
At the top of the stairs.

[[Good eye. All fixed, thanks - ed.]]
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Ulkarr



Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 598
Location: Brisbane

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, but I found some more.

Chapter XIII
"The forge emblem is Ironfore’s crest,"

Chapter XIV
"The wound was a small, round bullet hold which had swollen "

Chapter XV
"“Good,” he said, “because we really do want to you pass this test.” "

[[Got 'em, thanks. I'm glad you guys are around to catch these...]]
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Saranus



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 836

PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Albatros wrote:
The sun was off the horizon but not high in the sky, and it blinded me as I hauled with all my strength at the bottom pain.


pane?
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The abandoned ruins of the Rocktusk District bore it grim testament. --> its

I gazed across at them, flickering cheerfully in the darkness, and I longed to be sitting around them, roasting boar meat and chatting amicably with whoever. --> whomever, technically Smile

I stared down at the river, wishing myself a boat, but none appeared, and the settling night chill discouraged me from setting hoof in the river’s muddy water. --> a hoof

The bridge as still there, but it was shattered and charred. --> was


Whew, took me longer than expected to get around to reading this... Good promises never come true, I guess Very Happy.
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