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The Rewrite
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Aidinthel



Joined: 13 Mar 2006
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Location: a series of lairs, each more secret than the last

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is there a possibility of a re-re-rewrite?
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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2111

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have FTP access to the pages on which you read my work. There's always the possibility of more rewrites, although this round we're in the middle of now is probably going to be the only really big one. I'm getting all the things I wanted to change out of the way.
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just so we're all clear: Rewrites are common stuff for writers.
Another clarification: There has to be an end to the rewrites at one point Very Happy. Alb, be sure to tell us when you think it's there Wink. (I'll be continuing my translating at that point, if I'm still able to in that period of my life Very Happy.)
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 1602

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Albatros, I know that we may have discussed this already, but you should seriously consider some sort of financial gain from this writing process. You can get big advances and all kinds of nice stuff if you work at it. Why else are you re-writing the story? Surely you have ambitions to get it published. I mean, you know as well as we do that we were already hooked on your story, so there was no real need to change it. Can you lay it out stright for us: Are you going to try to get published?

No pressure. I fully expect a response kind of like this:

>.>
<.<
Maybe.

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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2111

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You people and your insistence that I write well! On inspiration of this thread (among other things), I've gone back and retooled chapter one, completely removing the giant block of exposition that weighed it down, working bits and pieces of it into the action itself. I believe that I've got something much better now, but of course I wouldn't want to prejudice you all... you be the judge.

http://www.albatrosbits.com/murloc.php?book=One&chapter=1

I'm rewriting chapter two with an eye towards the same thing, since chapter two is like half exposition - you guys have successfully brought the rewrite process to a screeching halt. good job. Wink
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 1602

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooo.... Nice.
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Fat squirrel



Joined: 23 Aug 2005
Posts: 347
Location: A splendid place with a delightful selection of delectable dishes.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice work. I approve. Have a ham and cheese sandwich to celebrate. Maybe with pineapple.
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay! More re-written goodness.
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Exodus



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
M kept to the back of our little caravan, looking dourly off into the thin forest on either side of the road.


Sourly? Or is dourly just a word I've absolutely never heard of?
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dourly is a real word and it is used correctly. You've just never heard of it. To cite the American Heritage Dictionary:

dour (dr, dour) Pronunciation Key
adj. dour·er, dour·est

1. Marked by sternness or harshness; forbidding: a dour, self-sacrificing life.
2. Silently ill-humored; gloomy: the proverbially dour New England Puritan.
3. Sternly obstinate; unyielding: a dour determination.



[Middle English, possibly from Middle Irish dúr, probably from Latin dūrus, hard; see deru- in Indo-European roots.]

dour'ly adv., dour'ness n.

Usage Note: The word dour, which is etymologically related to duress and endure, traditionally rhymes with tour. The variant pronunciation that rhymes with sour is, however, widely used and must be considered acceptable. In a recent survey, 65 percent of the Usage Panel preferred the traditional pronunciation, and 33 percent preferred the variant.


(I prefer the variant)
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Exodus



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In that case, excelent rewrite chapter.
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Saranus



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i use the variant. It seems to carry more gravitas.
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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 2:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

the variant, 4tw.

(I'm tossing up a revamped and expanded Chapter Two, minus some of the opening exposition, shortly. just in case you're here and trying to decide whether to go to bed or not.)

(http://www.albatrosbits.com/murloc.php?book=One&chapter=2)
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 1602

PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooo... Expostion...
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 1602

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NICE! The fight scene is better then remembered. Sooooo much exposition! I love it. Wink
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