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Samej's Monthly Writing Challenge!

 
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Samej



Joined: 04 Jul 2007
Posts: 153
Location: Star Dragon Tower

PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:27 pm    Post subject: Samej's Monthly Writing Challenge! Reply with quote

Seeing as the the forum is relatively sparse of new blood, how about some writing challenges to draw some fresh meat to the table?

Come one come all. I know those 11 thousand ENERVATION views aren't from Am reloading the page every time he thinks there's a comma he missed!

There is no limit on words per se, but keep away from the "wall of text crits you for x damage".

CHALLENGE 1:

Write a action scene (or scenes) in which three deeply developed characters die.

-----------------------------------
How do I develop a character that fast? Figure it out!


Edit:

Please use this format when posting a story:

Title-
Planning Medium- Mental, Paper, Computer
Time to scribe- (in hours)

Also, all entries will be judged by yours truly. The winner shall be the one to choose next month's challenge.

Also, I am putting a 5 day time extension on the contest. I posted this June 4th. Hurry up all ready.

Deadline: July 5th. Wink


Last edited by Samej on Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say that that's quite an oxymoronic query, but no point debating it Wink. I'm on it! Time to blow some life into this husk of a forum! Let the oldies set a good example. After all, we can always still have this forum as an hommage to the great bird (you can bet that we'll be having to make that our banners, symbols and metaphors in everything we write Wink!).

You know, like a rain dance of sorts. Only less physical and hopefully more rewarding!

P.S: Will you be participating, Samej? Very Happy
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the sun may melt the rain
may rinse the sky may sink
the clouds may meet the dirt
may drop your heart may heal

feelings of love you love
fluttering hearts you hate
revealing souls you love
breaking spirits you hate that

the sun...
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Samej



Joined: 04 Jul 2007
Posts: 153
Location: Star Dragon Tower

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eventually.
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~Man is felled by his own design~

Samej Arkanus-Poet, Scholar, Archmage
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Farsider



Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 913

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a tough challenge, no doubt about it. I intend to participate, but this isn't some little task you can just whip out. Gotta think and plot and plan for this one.
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Farsider wrote:
This is a tough challenge, no doubt about it. I intend to participate, but this isn't some little task you can just whip out. Gotta think and plot and plan for this one.


You're right. I've been working on both plot and characters for the last two days already Very Happy.
_________________
the sun may melt the rain
may rinse the sky may sink
the clouds may meet the dirt
may drop your heart may heal

feelings of love you love
fluttering hearts you hate
revealing souls you love
breaking spirits you hate that

the sun...
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, I vote we make this two-weekly. Short stories/Scenes don't just write themselves properly, you know Surprised.
_________________
the sun may melt the rain
may rinse the sky may sink
the clouds may meet the dirt
may drop your heart may heal

feelings of love you love
fluttering hearts you hate
revealing souls you love
breaking spirits you hate that

the sun...
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Farsider



Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 913

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh crap, this is weekly? This is tougher than I though. I scrapped my first idea and have been trying to get the second up and running. You've combined action, multiple characters, and character development, three concepts which don't always gel so easily.

Hmm, just hit on an idea... Scrapping #2
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Samej



Joined: 04 Jul 2007
Posts: 153
Location: Star Dragon Tower

PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Title- Tsunami
Planning Medium- Mental
Time to scribe- 3

NOTE: +This is a thought thought by a character.+




"All hands to Ensiro Deck!", yelled Captain Haraguka, straining against the Kisaro Drive's Warp tearing effect.

All about them, as it could be seen from the bridge's viewscreen at least, Lokipharo Gunships were roaring shells of fire and hate into the Tsunami, the greatest research ship in Law Space.

+We're just a research vessel, we're unimportant, why attack us.+

+Why die here?+

The last thought came unbidden to Haraguka's mind, forced into his cerebellum with a whip of psykik force.

+Release me. They will perish.+

"Captain! We can't hold out much longer!", Ensign Sashara shrieked into her commbead.

Indeed, the damage controllers were showing a dreadful symphony of red and black, death and loss. Research gone. Souls taken. All because of Him. It.

The stars shown brighter, colors deepened, light died.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

Captain Haraguka strode diligently down the aft research corridors of the Tsunami, greatest Deep Space Research Vessel that Law Space had ever known. Led by Takigoro Haraguka, a top tier Lamano Regime Scientist, he and his team of 20 were to conduct Deep Space tests of the experiemental Kiasaro Warp Drive.

"It folds space behind it as it moves, then tears it and flings it away, propelling the craft even further as a void expands behind it.", Sashara told him matter-of-factly.

She walked beside him always, a kind of apprentice to his doings about the ship. It was clear she had a crush, of sorts, on the rugged Haraguka, wild black beard and hair spilling down the back of his blue and white lab coat. Her sanguine face, framed with a slash of blonde hair, unusual for a female from Okinaga, peered up at his from time to time, yet their eyes never met.

Chatter went on. She was very professional in all of her dealings, whetherscientific or personal. She was untouchable, anti-social perhaps, yet the emotion was still there.

Tor-Master Ologi's room went by, and Haraguka and Sashara stopped on their way to the Milaro Lab to hear some of Ologi's teachings, brought to his students in far Erth via Ultra-Long-Distance-Satellite.

"Yet this is not for long my young ones, as we must always remember the Law of Force Equalization. This force shall fall, say on the hamburger on my desk, and it shall exert a force upon the hamburger and the hamburger on itself. They shall "hit" each other in a way, and in doing so...", Ologi's booming voice trailed off, his skill with food equal to his skill at cooking, he somehow always let in leak into all of his lectures, to the annoyment of all. Except the children perhaps.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Silence.

That was a rare thing in Space.

Everyone slept. Everyone but Asako, the Radioman. He was awake. He listened.

Silence within and silence without. It was calming...and frightening.

No shouts or chatter from commercial spacecraft. No pressurization alarms. No shots of fury and rebellion. Nothing. Void. Eternal Silence.

The silence was putting Asako to sleep. Drifting into the courts of dream...he heard it. A whisper of sound. A chirp of an ethereal bird. A dagger to break the silence. He listened again, screwing up the Volumator for another now anticipated call.

Nothing. Nothing at all. It was just imagined.

Silence once more.

Then, once more the bird returned. A whispering chirp. There. Asako grinned with both excitement and irrational fear as he screwed in the signal on the Spanner. It was quick now. Asako's heart beat with excitement as his dyed blonde and black locks fell over his eyes. He began recording as he raced out of the room, raced out to tell the Captain of the ethereal news. To tell him of the sound.

He didn't listen further. He ran. The recorder readied a tape for writing. If only he had listened longer.

Perhaps then he would have heard the screams.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++==


"Hull fracture, 10 marks in. Judging by the pattern, I'd say some sort of Plasma cutter.", Hakagura remarked into his Spacewalk suit for analysis back on the bridge.

As captain, it was his job and duty to go first on all matters of security. If he was to somehow perish, leadership would fall to Lieutenant Garo, a Marine stationed on the ship as guard, and a full report and questioning would have to be made of the incident.

As it stood, the chirp Asako heard was a distress beacon. It came from a black ship drifting lifeless in space. Life-support was down. There was no insignia, no hull markings. Haraguka carried his Plas-Cutter and G108 Chargepistol, loaded with shells of nonlethal electricity. Even as a Scientist, he had made a silent vow to himself that he would not kill.

+Maybe I should recant that. Heh. Didn't I make it in the first place for Sashara's sake?+

The emotion was in him as well. Yet they were professional in all things. Always.

+The ship doesn't need a scandal.+

The main door bolts came off quite easily. The outer seal was broken, meaning airless void existed both in and out of the ship. Nothing unprotected could survive.

Dark liquid filtered out of the small black ship. Dead drops of water, black with silence.

+Oil? Can't be, these things run on Electus Impulse.+

Haraguka stepped into the main cabin. It was small. No bigger than a simple Orbital officer transport. The cockpit door was closed.

Sound. The lack of it shocked Haraguka. Had his commbead malfunctioned? Silence.

A shape. Human. Cloaked in white, masked in pink, it moved with the rhythym of life. Life. It floated quietly on its back, inches from the steel floor.

Haraguka drifted over to the breathing form, prying for a closer look. Within the glass face mask he say naught but electric pink. Opaque in stunning color. Yet still the form moved.

The oil was all about him now. This strange substance...perhaps a biological function? Bio-drives were very common in the Lawless sectors. But where is the crew?

Haraguka glanced at the cockpit again. It was sealed. And with the damage the ship had sustained-where and how did it sustain it?- the cockpit would take a very long time to open.

Best he salvage what he could.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Subject is human male, 6 foot 10, 192 pounds, pale complexion, genes show French background with unknown variable G's. Subject has sustained a concussion and has signifigant scarring of the central left hemisphere of the Brain and Cerebellum. Subject's Corpus Callosum seems to have been cut, purpose unknown. Subject has been in a state of advanced coma for 28 hours so far. Heart rate is abnormally low and system is still attempting to find a genetic match.", Sashara finished as Doctor Ishikuro finished his examination.

She clicked off the recorder, looking down at the still, pale form. Bound with leather restraints he was to the metal table. He hadn't moved since Haraguka had brought him on board, questioning Asako extensively about "radio silence".

Yet Sashara still gazed at the man. Still.

+We don't even know what he's like. His personality, his ideas. All a mystery.+

The enigma of coma still cloaked the white shrouded man as Sashara left the room.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+Light.+

The lights in the Medical Bay turned on with a soundless click.

+++

+Release Me. They will perish.+

+++

Leather bands reinforced with spider silk filaments bound the still form of Sonir Le'Zatz, PN105881961. A prisoner here as much as on the ship of the bounty hunters.

+Dark.+

The lights in the Medical Bay dimmed to nothing with a soundless echo.

He breathed out. He breathed in. Air. Something new. Fresh air.

+Break.+

500,000 pound tensile strength Micro-filament wires bound in snakeskin leather sleeves and Mono-tarda juice cloaks snapped in the space of a second.

Sonir rose then. He sent his mind out to the far corners of the ship. Seeking toys, seeking tools.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Always professional.

That was Sashara's mindset. Advancement in all things comes from Professional decency. Her father had taught that in full back home on Erth, as had her mother before she died.

She had called Haraguka to her room with a request for his prescense and advisement on several documents relating to the Kisaro Drive's tests later that day. Always Professional.

Still, she could not lie and not realize that her heart fluttered when she saw his regal form frame the threshold of her room. Professional.

"You needed help with the Drive Testers?", he asked, seeming as if this was but a minor stop on his way elsewhere.

She gave a quick nod and grabbed a sheaf of papers off her Pilo-Desk, the hovering supports rebalancing the weight change to a more comfortable level for her height.

"Yes, the Kisaro Drive testers seem to be inaccurate, I'm getting multiple S100 errors on the lower shafts. The stress is too great for us to just test this with a 5 oh 5er. What do you propse we change?" she said with a questioning curl of her eyebrow.

That was strange. Not the testers. They both felt it though. A wave of energy passed through them. Emotion surfaced.

"S100...lower shaft...", Haraguka surmised as he took a seat next to Sashara on her Pilo-bed.

"We could change the drive Moles. That would help balance the stress of...", she trailed off, suddenly dizzy with emotion.

Their eyes locked then. Her pools of hypothermic blue and his summer shades of green. Beautiful.

Head Ensign Sashara let the sheaf of Kisaro drive reports fall to the floor as they embraced. A kiss, opening the floodgates for their love.

Their clothes couldn't seem to come off fast enough, their bottles of buried love rising to a drunken brim as they embraced and made love.

They made love to a silent chorus of agony. They made passion unknowing of the conductor. They consumated their journey's end.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sterile Metal. Now dirtied. It drifted in the air, glittering amongst a swarm of red.

Sonir Le'Zatz drifted by the lifeless Tor-Master.

It was exhilirating.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tor-Master Ologi's body drifted silently behind the Null-Steel glass of his lecture room. The still form of Sonir Le'Zatz still lay upon the Iron Medical Bay table.

"Who...why...", Sashara whispered to the air, standing as perplexed and shocked as the rest of the crew.

+Release me.+

A echo of sound drifted by.

Captain Haraguka peered forward, noticing the security Null-Shields that had been activated with Ologi's death. Nothing could get in. Nothing could get out...without his express permission. No one knew the Null codes except Haraguka.
None but he could be trusted with that power.

"Perhaps we are haunted?", Asako piped up, instantly embarassed by the shocked stares he received.

"No...this is no ghost. We are plagued with a murderer. I want security doubled on the Medical Bay."

"He was just a...just a...", Sashara whispered, on the verge of tears.

Haraguka held her close, their aura of professionalism drooping as more than a few eyes noted their proximity. Their crush was wheat for the rumour mill, and this would only heighten the gossip.

"Garo, we make to Mokono Station. 3 Days, all hands confined to your rooms. Now.", Haraguka growled out, true anger showing for the barest of moments.

+Perish.+

A whisper of sound. Unheard by all.

As the crew dispersed, not a one noticed the form of Sonir Le'Zatz, standing just beyond the glass. Staring.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Light died.

"Full control Garo, I need full control!", Haraguka bellowed at the top of his lungs.

+Release ME. They WILL perish.+

"You heard him! Asako, help me with the gear!"

Two twin shocks of vaporized air roared past the Tsunami. They were in dire straits.

Release him. No. No?

Oblivion faced them. Desperation surfaced.

Haraguka trembled visibly as he entered the Null codes. Light died...and was reborn.

"Kisaro Drives Activated.", the mechanical AI of the Tsunami announced.

+They will perish.+

Silence.

+Sashara, I lose you now.+

+Haraguka, I...+

+THEY WILL ALL PERISH!+

Death. Destruction. Apocalypse. Oblivion.

Nothing could describe the song of Sonir Le'Zatz. A violent upheavel of negation. Man fails. Metal fails. Nothing stands up to the unchained beast of the psykik.

"Main Stress Tensor Overload."

+The S100's...+

+What would YOU rather have...OBLIVION...OR LOVE?+

I had never known love. I kill them all. I am nothing. And I will live on.

Negation. Emotional overflow. Stress Overload.

Nothing remained but the white ghost of Tsunami.

Oblivion.

















Herald of the Eternal Heart, no thing remained.

Naught but twin specks of black, dark, dust.
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~Man is felled by his own design~

Samej Arkanus-Poet, Scholar, Archmage
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Farsider



Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's pretty creepy, truth be told. Good work!
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was haunting, for sure.

I read it quite some time ago and have ever since been feeling guilty for not delivering! But hold on, and it'll happen...

After all, you asked for a scene when you actually wanted a short story :p. If you'd want page-long columns, then I think I might have been able to make the deadline Very Happy, Samej. Either way, we plod on and I do congratulate you on your writing. It's quite spacey Wink but most of all interesting.
_________________
the sun may melt the rain
may rinse the sky may sink
the clouds may meet the dirt
may drop your heart may heal

feelings of love you love
fluttering hearts you hate
revealing souls you love
breaking spirits you hate that

the sun...
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