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Chapter XII - The Emerald Queen
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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2111

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:54 pm    Post subject: Chapter XII - The Emerald Queen Reply with quote

My new resolve has born its first fruits: the first four pages of Chapter XII - The Emerald Queen. The first scene is the reason this post took so long - it's a place that I'm very unsure in my footing, theme- and style-wise. Fingers crossed. The next scene - and, actually, the rest of the chapter - is being fantastically fun to write. There are little snippets of prose and conversation that I've had written for months, or years in some cases, waiting for their moment, and this chapter is where a whole bunch of them are slotted to go. I've been writing unexpected, unplanned, or just plain difficult scenes nonstop for the last few chapters, that it feels good to get back to somewhere where I've got a semblence of a longstanding plan.

You'll have to be the judge of how much quality I've given up for quantity. I'm looking forward to the comments.
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Bacchanalia



Joined: 27 Aug 2006
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loved it!
Very happy to see new updates. I hope you have as much fun writing it as we do reading it.
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drakedragon92



Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Posts: 699
Location: Right behind you.

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

so excited to read it i didnt even read the front page post, just slammed the link immediately. Excelent work Al, loved every second.

(PS in the beginning "You you thought you could fly when you had merely hovered. Your pride overwhelmed you, and were you not under my care in this place," [[fixed, thanks -ed.]])
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Fat squirrel



Joined: 23 Aug 2005
Posts: 347
Location: A splendid place with a delightful selection of delectable dishes.

PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like new found resolve.
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I BEAT ANOREXIA! Very Happy http://images.ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/ibeatanorexia.jpg
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Alec



Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 1342

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Few things I caught:

“You’ll get glimpses,” replied the other bull, “bits and pieces. I don’t know that any of us ever quite figure it all out, even those that have fulfilled it and moved on.” - you called M a bull. [[sure did. -ed.]]

...but I’ve never seen any evidence that it’s as in minute control of the entire world. - Not sure what you want to say here, but it seems odd to me. [[mine-yoot. am I spelling that wrong? is it worth it even if I'm not?... -ed.]]
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Amaunator



Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 2074
Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alec wrote:
...but I’ve never seen any evidence that it’s as in minute control of the entire world. - Not sure what you want to say here, but it seems odd to me. [[mine-yoot. am I spelling that wrong? is it worth it even if I'm not?... -ed.]]


...but I've never seen any evidence that it's so minutely in control of the entire world.

Could be a plausible transformation of that sentence. I know what you're trying to say, though Very Happy. The problem is situated around the 'as'; it makes it into a comparison that you're not finishing. Get rid of the 'as' in some way or another, and problem solved Smile.

And I can't believe I didn't spot that you called M a bull Very Happy.
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feelings of love you love
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Albatros
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2111

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

M is a bull! I thought that hadn't been controversial in like a year and a half. Confused

NICE alternate wording. I'm going in and rearranging the words pronto. Thanks dude.
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Alec



Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 1342

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Albatros wrote:
M is a bull! I thought that hadn't been controversial in like a year and a half. Confused

NICE alternate wording. I'm going in and rearranging the words pronto. Thanks dude.
Wait, why would M be a bull?
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Heloly



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 1602

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alec, Albatros has always written M as a bull because he wanted to express the dichotomy between Cadiem's avatar and her real gender. I'm pretty sure that this is explained in one of the earlier chapters quite well, but maybe that was before the rewrite. I don't remember and I'm too lazy to look. >_>
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Alec



Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 1342

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, I remember now. I haven't read that part in a while, and I haven't seek Cay's avatar in years. Sad
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chromus



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:56 pm    Post subject: Need to feed my addiction Reply with quote

I am in horrible withdrawal after reading the rewrite a 2nd time and its been months since the last Chapter.

Alb, when can we look forward to some new stuff, or is the project currently shelved?

(wudda done a new topic but I dont have the posts yet)
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Farsider



Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 913

PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that we've all gone into such a state of withdrawal that everyone around here has devolved into shambling, starved, pain-wracked near-zombies, like the Wretched of western Silvermoon city, so damaged by the lack of story that our higher brain functions have collapsed and we subsist now only on our nigh-unquenchable hunger and the constant, hollow pain of our endless withdrawal. Zombielike, we wander like ambulatory corpses through the gloom and misery of our own desperation, calling out to the callous and unresponsive shadows and mist: "Chapter...Chaaaapter...Brains...err...ChaaaAAAAaaaptrrrr..."

Only a bird could save us now. No, only a Great Bird, white with wings that stretch wide as an angel's, a pencil held firmly in the plumage and a fresh new chapter update, shining and brilliant like the Holy Grail itself, clasped within its benevolent talons.

But I dream...


I actually saw the bird-man himself logged in to WoW a few days back. He said that he had finished his move to his new abode, which had been fraught with delays and complications lasting months, and that he would now be able to return to writing and wow-ing. I was excited by this; I quested with a renewed vigor in my step, new life pumping through long-calcified veins at the mere thought of the Great Bird returning to us once again.

Alas, he logged off soon after, and none among us, it seems, has seen nor heard from the Bird since Sad

There's still hope, though. There's always hope...


(There's also hope that Zombie Lenin will emerge from his tomb in Red Square, round-house kick Silvo Berlusconi all the way to Fiji, then have a tea party with Queen Beatrice and Posh Spice atop the Eiffel Tower...but let's not let that dim our hopes for the Bird)
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chromus



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Farsider, u sir (madame?) truly leave the Crazy Cat Lady from Stormwind, /cower ing in your wake.

The level to which your mental fortitude has sunk as a result of the birdmans absence truly amazes all that read your post.

We are humbled (or is that horrified?) by your true level of depravity.

I /bow before thee.
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GermanGuestNowComfy



Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*offers free sausages, mashed potatoes, sauerkraut and a pint from the great Grohe-brewery of his parents' hometown to everyone to assure physical stability of unstable psyches*

Oh, how I wish Costa Ricans knew how to make Sauerkraut, or decent smoked ham. Confused Beer's decent, though. Wink
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Farsider



Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 913

PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll take the wurst, sauerkraut, and kartoffeln, but I'm going to have to pass on the Grohe until you can produce some Löwenbrau (my hometown beer, at least one of them) I'm certain that this formula will ensure the stability of my psyche (or at least keep me temporarily distracted)

Chromus: I live but to serve...and to deprave
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