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Albatros Site Admin

Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 2111
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:13 pm Post subject: :( |
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Folks, it's a day that I think many of you knew was coming, but it's one that I resisted as hard as I could, as long as I could. After long bouts of banging my head against the wall, I've reached the conclusion that I am unable to finish The Murloc is Lonely as a long-form novel. My love for the story, for its characters, for its world and for its community has been all that's kept me going over the years (years!), and all but one of those loves has finally and fully flamed out. Writing has become a chore, and one that I'm increasingly unable to confront. I've written several pages beyond what I've released, and there are some exciting scenes coming up, but even with an impending battle to draft I can't force myself to sit and write long enough to accomplish anything.
The last love, of course, is for you. I owe you all so much, and this isn't quite goodbye yet: I have the plot mapped out to the end of the third book, in varying levels of details, and it would be poor thanks for the years of joy and support that you have given me to simply disappear. As I said, I've got the plot - and I don't want to leave you without it. I'm open to suggestions, but for now my plan is to switch styles, from the close first-person narrative to a more distant, third-person style, providing a summary of events with more details as they inspire me.
The story grows quickly - it doesn't take a very discerning reader to discern that there are great forces at work in Az. You don't know the half of it yet. I had always worried whether my plot would be too ambitious, too large for its own good - and I'd always planned on earning the plot with prose and characterization. I'll lose that now, and the plot will have to stand on its own. I hope it does.
After a week or so open comment period (I will check in to duly accept invectives) on my style shift plan, I will begin delivering summaries shortly. I will dedicate one night a week to working on them, and with less lofty goals I like my chances of being relatively productive.
Serious Murloc fans... I'm sorry. I know that there is an implicit trust placed in the leaders of such communities, and I'm under no illusion that I'm not failing that trust. I wish I could go back to the early days, when writing this story meant everything to me, but I've tried for a year and a half to do so and failed. I'm sorry. Thank you all for being part of this. |
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Amaunator

Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 2074 Location: Belgium ... innocuous but intrepid!
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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The only things I can say now are corny, and I don't want this to be corny, so I'm going to keep it brief:
Your story was wonderful and for all its faults could have been a Warcraft Novel fully backed by Blizzard, I'm quite sure. But as long as you won't get paid for it, you won't get any off-time from life to write it. We all understand that and we saw it coming. I think everyone will agree that the ride's been a blast and the writing and comments from the heart (damn, something corny slipped by ).
Of course I'm sad we'll only get the bare bones of the story - I really loved the characters to Albatrosbits -, but I'd rather have something than nothing. _________________ the sun may melt the rain
may rinse the sky may sink
the clouds may meet the dirt
may drop your heart may heal
feelings of love you love
fluttering hearts you hate
revealing souls you love
breaking spirits you hate that
the sun... |
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destron
Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 262
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sorry to hear that your desire to write has faded. It's a pain I know all too well; I'm still ashamed for having never finished the original stuff I worked on before starting the travelogue.
Still, you can't force these things, so don't beat yourself up about it. |
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Cangjku
Joined: 06 Sep 2005 Posts: 713 Location: back in wisconsin
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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That is a real shame Albatros, but don't beat yourself up over it. Writing is more work then people realize and my a key is really sticky right now. Not a good thing, but that is unrelated. You have to do what you have to do, but don't give up all hope. Inspiration could return at the least expected time.
I personally am finally starting to get inspired again after barely writing for nearly a year. Not that I have anything of a following yet, but I do have pieces I need to work on.
I am not sure what my point exactly is, my brain is mushy of late, but whatever the case, good luck Albatros and I hope you some day find your way back to the writing that you love. Also keep this in mind, that what challenges you as a writer, is what causes you to grow the most as a writer.
Ok I am going to stop now before I stop making anything resembling coherent sense. _________________ Cangjku, Druid of Mulgore
My website: www.eaglesoutpost.com
I had fan fiction there, but not for world of warcraft and have taken it down since I am not working on it. I might dedicate a blog to it though. |
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Farsider

Joined: 10 Aug 2005 Posts: 913
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:21 am Post subject: |
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I thought to start this post with an emoticon, but I think that would be just too cheap and insignificant for the moment.
I must have stared at the blank 'post a reply' screen for a good 25 minutes, brain in a funk. I still remember that day trolling the wow forums in early April of...good lord, was it 2005?...and stumbled across that humble piece of fan fiction sitting so serenely amidst the then-organized chaos titled "The Murloc is Lonely". From that very first iconic line where a Bull named Horse walks down a dim office corridor in classic film-noir style, and discovers a chain-smoking amphibian, of all things, I knew that this was going to be something special.
I haven't the foggiest clue how, many months later, I somehow came across the (very) early incarnation of this here site, but I'm eternally happy and grateful that I did. You've given us an excellent book, and half of another book that promises equal measures of brilliance. By the strength of your writing, you have a community of loyal fans around the world.
There has always been the fear more recently that we might not see the completion of your grand opus, but it's still a shock seeing the day officially come where we know that fish, horse, and he-cow won't complete their adventure (in its more familiar form...I do expect to at least see those notes!)
It feels like a personal loss, this does. It hits hard. I'm out of words.
Cheers _________________
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Heloly

Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 1602
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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I won't lie to everyone and say that I had no idea this was coming. I've known for a while now, secretly storing the information in the dark recesses of my heart of hearts. But knowing about the inevitable and seeing it come to pass are two very different things. I've walked a path through beauty, and now I am going to find myself lacking. It is a concept that gives me pause and leads to self-reflection. (Something I can get rather caught up in.)
I too joined the TMiL community in early 2005. Back when WoW was new and novel, and when I was still a very young man. Like Farsider, I followed a link to this website in one of Alb's story posts. The community that we have here is something akin to family: Constant, enduring, and supportive. It's hard to think that I have been a part of it for almost four years.
I don't know about the older folk on this board, like Farsider, but this site has shaped my life. Maybe Aid or Erikc can associate. I look back at my first few posts, and I realize what a little kid I was. I don't know whether it through time or by example, but I came here as a child and now in my eyes and in others', I am a man. As I matured, I had more responsibilities given to me. Two years ago, I became the forum moderator. After that, I became the sometimes confidante of Albatros.
It all boils down to one thing: Trust. Trust is a powerful concept, it bears more weight than perhaps any other. Trust can even be more important than truth. It was the trust that I was given that made me want to become who I was. To break someone's faith in you is somehow inexcusable, especially knowing that they rarely give out that trust in the first place. As people, we instinctively know the value of trust.
So, I understand what an incredible burden this must have been to Albatros. Every time he logged into his website he had to deal with the knowledge that he was going to violate our trust at some point. There is no weakness in what he has finally done: to come out and say it is probably more devastating to him than to us. He doesn't need our pity, but we would be in the wrong to deny him our support.
Is this the end of Albatrosbits? Who knows. But I would be loathe to lose a community as tight-knit as this to the sands of time. Perhaps it may cease to exist in its current incarnation, but not entirely. We will see. |
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drakedragon92

Joined: 06 Aug 2006 Posts: 699 Location: Right behind you.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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My only question is, would you mind if someone took the story and submitted it for real publication? (Going through blizzard and everything of course) So that at the very least your years of hard work and dedication might pay off in some small way? _________________ Only two things are infinite. The universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.
-Einstein |
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Aidinthel

Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 3145 Location: a series of lairs, each more secret than the last
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:46 am Post subject: |
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Heloly wrote: | Maybe Aid or Erikc can associate. I look back at my first few posts, and I realize what a little kid I was. | "Maybe"? Do you even remember what I was like when i first came here? I shudder to think about it.
About the story's death, I think the pattern was obvious. The increasing time between updates, Alb's rapidly decreasing presence of the forums, it was hard to ignore. I did, however, manage to not think about it. I'm very good at that when I want to be. So while I was reading the post, a small corner of my mind was saying "I told you so." over and over again (Not that I blame it; I'd have done the same thing.) while another part was sitting and staring off into space, another part was shrugging and saying that all things must end and another part was busy telling my sister to go away and that I'd be off the computer soon.
*insert closing thought that extends the thought to the universal perspective, and leaves everyone with a sense of wonder at its sheer wisdom* _________________ Evil is the new love.
I never nuked anything that didn't stop being an immediate problem. |
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Exodus

Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 2262 Location: P-Town represent!
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:55 am Post subject: |
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As John Lennon said, "in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." You've made quite a lot of love here -- love for writing, for games, and for the community, among others -- and I can only wish that although you move on, you never forget that all of that love was inspired by your work here. You've earned a lot of love. _________________ "I will choose a path that's clear: I will choose Freewill." -Freewill, by Rush |
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C'thulu

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 28 Location: The sunken city of R'lyeh somewhere in the Southeast Pacific Ocean
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:01 am Post subject: |
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C'thulu weeps... _________________ ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn |
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Moorea

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 383 Location: Hong Kong
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:02 am Post subject: |
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Well, there isn't much I can add to what has already been said, but still, I feel the need to express how much this website means to me.
Living overseas in a country where the language around me is foreign-sounding and the customs are unfamiliar, I've found a "home" here on this site. I know that I can always come on here and read some of TMiL or other stories or other posts to entertain myself and "escape" from the pressure of my real life. I confess, this site has been my secret...I've never shown my son, my wife, or anyone that knows me. Call me selfish but I guess I've just wanted to keep one thing, just one thing, separated from any connection to real life.
I can understand the pressure of writing...I do feel like I succumbed and gave a "lame duck" ending to my big story...but I will go back and try to tweak it out one of these days. Albatros, I think everyone on here can understand your feelings and I'm sure no one blames you for whatever decisions you make. Of course, I hope the website will continue on in whatever capacity, but I do understand if your life needs to move on. It has been a pleasure without boundaries to be a part of this community and I'm grateful for the opportunity to not only read a top-notch quality story like TMIL, but also everyone else who has generously posted their own stories and discussion posts. Thank you.
Cheers,
Moorea, aka Jim _________________ Life is great until the toilet paper runs out.... |
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Sibane

Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 88
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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The world seems a little darker today. Thanks foe the time away from reality that you provided for us Albatros. _________________ Cyal8r
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Wal
Joined: 04 Aug 2006 Posts: 10
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the story, over the years. Take it easy on yourself, you have written more of a novel than most ever will.
One less reason to check my e-mail, sniff. _________________ No |
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mortarman178

Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 988 Location: no longer in hell but back home now
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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aww man i just the internet back so i can hope for more story and poor alb ....well its ok we all understand poop happens. dont beat yourself up to bad and besides i think most of use just like hanging out here. id say we are all just about as close as you can get to being friends with out actualy meeting. _________________ HHB 3-82 FA 2nd BCT 1st Cav Div
"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."
"A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men."
Plato |
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michellethemit

Joined: 10 Jan 2006 Posts: 129 Location: Stuck in a toilet somewhere
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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Like the rest, I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I'll admit, Albatros, I've been in the same boat. Let me share...
I used to write fanfiction for Transformers Armada on fanfiction.net (you can either stop laughing now, and/or don't bother looking, it's not on the site anymore). Like you, I lost interest midway and left a fair number of readers (not as big as the amount here) hanging. Uncomplete, lost interest, etc. *sigh*. And I felt horribly guilty. Kept telling myself that if I gave it time maybe it'd come back, the plot bunnies and all....
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.....It never did.
I've grown past that time in my life where I was a raging Transformers fan (okay, I still am, but not so much for Armada anymore), and therefore, am unable to work up the inspiration to write that stuff out. I mean, that's not entirely it, there's a good chunk more reasons - I've changed, the reasons why I wanted to write that are gone, for instance. Thought processes changed. I figured that my writing was kinda 'meh' (I mean, I didn't do poop like no paragraphs and bad spelling n grammar everywhere, but I wasn't GREAT). However, I don't regret it. I just regret not finishing it.
*Sigh* Albatros, I won't lie and say that it's cool. It's not. It sucks. For all of us. However, I do appreciate you posting the rest of the plot you had scribbled out. Maybe somewhere, someone will take up the story and complete it. And hell. At least if you post the rest of the plot, it won't be quite that unfinished story that I always see on fanfiction.net and spend an hour raging about (especially the good ones, oh god does that make me angry).
Oh, and I read this news post AFTER posting on the art thread. So if it sounds jovial, bah. Probably was a really horrible unintentional guilt trip though, I mean, hell, if michellethemit reappears after HUGEEEEEEE amount of time MIA with work...lol. Yeah, sorry about that...
And to be honest, I kinda see this happening with the WoW community at large. CosmosUI is gone. WowModelViewer is gone. It was a fun run while it lasted...but hey. Everything ends. Some things give closure before they do and some don't. Just the way it is I suppose... _________________ Yes, that is me.
Link forthcoming. |
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