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Dakrim's Tale
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Moorea



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 383
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, moving right along now...chapters 9, 10, 11 have been revised and posted.

No major story changes in any of the chapters. Some artificial breaks were removed and I inserted cohesion devices to make the reading smoother. Some breaks were retained, but I made clear ending and introductory sentences to eliminate confusion. A few awkward sentences were changed and I killed a few run ons and unclear subject sentences.


If anyone has a comment or question, as usual, please feel free to ask away.
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Moorea



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 383
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Revised Chapter 12 needed only a few sentences re-organized for better coherence and understanding.


Unless, of course, someone points something out to me:)
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