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Albatros Site Admin

Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 2111
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:44 am Post subject: Chapter XII |
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Hey all. Clearly I missed my Saturday deadline, sorry about that. I still haven't got all of what I intended to post yesterday written, but I have got most of it. I'm gonna hold off from posting it on the site proper until the entire chapter (all of chapter 12) is finished. However, since about 70% of it is in final-draft form, I'll go ahead and post that up on this post's Discussion thread. If you want to read it very slightly pre-release, have a go. I'm gonna warn you ahead of time, though, there's a nasty cliffhanger. If you don't like cliffhangers, wait another day or two for me to get the last little bit finished. |
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Albatros Site Admin

Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 2111
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:45 am Post subject: |
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The chapter is now posted on the website proper, here.
Last edited by Albatros on Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:32 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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The Dark Canuck
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 232
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:30 am Post subject: |
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Now that's a cliff hanger. I did notice one error, however. Salmon are not pink on the outside, but rather a silver/grey (You can confirm with a google image search). Not exactly sure how you should say that-perhaps it would be better to simply take out any references to salmon colour? The colour "salmon" refers to the pink colour the meat is, especially after it's cooked. [[[right you are. I meant to refer to its internals anyway. Uncooked salmon is pink as well, and when you grab a salmon with your claws and rip it up with your beak, the guy on your back will see some pink. -ed.]]]
One more nitpick in the pursuit of storytelling perfection. Can't wait to read the finished version. |
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Alec
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 1342
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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I always loved frost wyrms. |
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Onokos

Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 1933 Location: central FL
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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I can't wait to see how this will turn out. Another terrific job btw. _________________ "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do." --Edward Everett Hale |
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Exodus

Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 2262 Location: P-Town represent!
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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Awww man, that whole time I was hoping he would run our of breath. _________________ "I will choose a path that's clear: I will choose Freewill." -Freewill, by Rush |
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Fat squirrel

Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 347 Location: A splendid place with a delightful selection of delectable dishes.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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That is an amazing cliff hanger. Congratulations, if you publish, this is where you should cut of the chapter and do a "meanwhile, back at the ranch" thingy on Tidus so that everyone who gets there suffers a heart attack and hates you. _________________
I BEAT ANOREXIA! http://images.ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/ibeatanorexia.jpg |
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Onokos

Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 1933 Location: central FL
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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Normally I would not suggest that, but ... well, Charles Dickens did that all the time, and he turned out pretty well ... _________________ "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do." --Edward Everett Hale |
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Saranus

Joined: 06 Sep 2005 Posts: 836
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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i thought frost wyrms had blue mist coming out of them, but this one had green mist coming out. Maybe it's one of those plague whelplings from scholomance all grown up. |
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Yellowsub
Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 47 Location: Undercity
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:12 am Post subject: |
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I love these cliff-hangers. It makes me twitch with anticipation. |
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Scaramoosh

Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 67 Location: Scholomance
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:49 am Post subject: |
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I don't think it's a frost-wyrm. The only reason the dragons raised by Arthas and Kel'Thuzad were frost-wyrms was because of Frostmourn and the Lich King's natural affinities for ice... well that and the fact that the dragon graveyard was in frozen Northrend. If this dragon was ressurected by a being such as Varimathras, there's no reason it should have the ice element ingrained upon it.
Also, thank you for showing that the pendant used to be two halves. That makes the WoW Lorist in me a happy camper.
So in other words, good story and I can't wait for the final version.
P.S. - Are you going to be dealing at all with the recent announcment of the Blood Elf Paladins and Draeni Shaman? _________________ Nothing is foolproof to an adequately armed fool. |
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Slashtrain
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 900 Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río de Porciúncula
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:33 am Post subject: |
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we've only seen, i believe, two Blood Elves the entire story so far and they were both early on. Draenei haven't been exposed at all. i don't think there's any need to explore either path to continue this story... _________________ "so when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never
because the dance with the devil might last you forever" |
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Albatros Site Admin

Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 2111
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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(the chapter is now complete and posted on the website proper - here) |
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Modguy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 63
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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ze link! IT BE BORKED! _________________
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Shirahime

Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 3
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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Indeed, the link is just looping me back to the table of contents over and over. I'm addicted! Must... read... more! |
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